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Me after saying β€˜I’ll behave tonight.

Me waking up from a 17-minute nap like:
What planet is this and why am I here?

Me investigating that weird sound knowing damn well I’m not built for horror movies 😭πŸ”ͺ🍳

Me: β€˜I’m a lady now. I’m mature.’
Him: grabs thigh
Me: 🍷πŸ₯΄ class dismissed.

When your life is falling apart but you still try to romanticize it like a movie